


Find Me An Angel

by MorganaNK



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-02 14:55:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11511717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganaNK/pseuds/MorganaNK
Summary: Buffy deals with her guilt after Becoming 2





	Find Me An Angel

**Author's Note:**

> Characters are the property of Joss Whedon and all interested parties.  
> Lyrics from 'Find Me An Angel' by Nik Kershaw  
> No copyright infringement intended
> 
> Lyrics = italics

I sank down on the edge of the bed and kicked off my shoes. It was a competition between my head, back and feet as to which hurt the most. They were on a hiding to nothing. My heart had already crossed the finishing line, received it's medal and was heading for the showers.

Angel. My Love. My Beloved. The cause of my pain. Silent tears traced a path down my cheeks. Angel. Oh God I am so sorry.

_'I can feel this body moving_  
It's like I'm going for a ride   
It's on automatic pilot, nothing going on inside   
Yeah I dress it in Versace, and I feed it a la carte   
But there's no fire in it's belly   
There's no passion in it's heart…' 

How long is it? How long since I kissed him, told him to close his eyes and then ran him through with the sword? How long since I murdered my love? Seconds become minutes, minutes become hours, hours become days then weeks…then they all blur together. Sometimes it feels like yesterday and sometimes years. But I never forget his trusting face. He trusted me. I betrayed that trust. I betrayed our love. I betrayed him.

_'I can hear this body talking 'bout some stupid little thing_  
But it doesn't sound like my voice   
No it doesn't sound like me   
And I take it to the movies   
And I let it drive my car   
And I tuck it up in bed at night so it can wish upon a star…' 

I had to leave. I couldn't bear the memories. Everywhere I looked I saw him. His eyes full of shock at what I had done. I sent him to hell. And since the portal closed I have felt his pain. All of it. It blocks out every other emotion. Pain is all I feel. And I deserve it. His suffering should be mine.

_'I can feel this body shaking_  
Like it's just about to blow   
I guess it's time that I did something   
Yeah I think it's time to go…' 

So I ran here. I work and I sleep. Or try to. He comes to me then. Suffering. Pleading. Wanting answers that I can't give. I wish I had the strength to end it.

_'Oooh find me a stranger_  
Oooh find me a face   
Oooh find me an Angel   
To take me from this place' 


End file.
